State of Wonderment

Jon Stewart works to save the world… March 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 8:35 pm

Shock and disbelief… Jon Stewart is dropping the laughs and completely working to create more honesty and help us normal citizens by calling people out LIVE.

Wow… I’m truly impressed…

This is seriously embarrassing for Jim Cramer, a supposed financial expert who is supposedly “on our side”… Jon Stewart practically puts him in a headlock with his honest, blunt words.

Again, I’m impressed… honesty, intelligence, efforts to be upstanding… GO JON!! :)

Comment what you think.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=220533

 

::ChAoS:: February 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 12:31 pm

Honestly… I’m just really sick of my life being chaos… Clinging to the truth that You stay true when my world is false… even when everything around’s always breaking down to chaos…

Complication is my claim to fame
I can’t believe there’s another, constantly just another
and I can’t avoid what I can’t control
I’m losing ground, still I can’t stand down
I know, yeah I know…

I know You stay true when my world is false
everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see You when my sight is lost
everything around’s breaking down to chaos

I know You stay true when my world is false
everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see You when my sight is lost
everything around’s breaking down to chaos

It’s hard to trust anyone again
after all the let downs I’ve been through,
haunted by what I’ve been through.

Air’s still trapped, while I still can’t breathe
and I’m screaming out, give me help somehow
I know, yeah I know…

I know You stay true when my world is false
everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see You when my sight is lost
everything around’s breaking down to chaos

I know You stay true when my world is false
everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see You when my sight is lost
everything around’s breaking down to chaos

Chaos, chaos

I know you stay true, yeah
I know you stay, yeah, yeah, yeah

I know You stay true when my world is false

~Mute Math “Chaos”

 

::The Wilderness:: February 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 2:37 am

Please read all of this because its amazing. :) I have written down part of a sermon by Paul Matthies at The Village Church (the church I attend, you can get the sermons through iTunes podcast: The Village Church sermons. I highly recommend it! :)). This sermon is the third part of his “Only the Lonely” series (amazing!). He is talking about loneliness, how to deal with it, the roots of loneliness, and how to respond to God through it. Please read it a few times even and please pray about it and examine your heart. Let God change you and love you into a better you. Let God tell You who He is and draw you into a closer relationship with Him. :) ~Mandy

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

God intends to give us what we need, not what we think we want. Once more we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment of too much love, not too little.” ~C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain

“Do you understand that God is worthy of worship regardless of how we feel and regardless of the circumstances we’re in? We have to learn to put a period where God puts a period. And He says “I am worthy of worship” period. Worship is not just a response to what God does for us, it’s a response to who He is! Do we realize, church, that if God never did another good thing for us, He would STILL be worthy of worship? God as His very nature of being God is Self-existent and Self-glorious and His very nature mandates worship because He is God and we are not. He is glorious! He is the Creator and we are the created thing and we must ascribe to Him the glory due His Name. Because He is worthy of worship regardless of the gifts He gives us, even if He’s seeking to hide His face.

Later in the sermon:

“And here we must understand that just because God is hiding His face from His children does not mean that God has quite working. If anything He is working in us that which is most pleasing to Him: Faith! And so when God is hiding His face from us it goes something like this, [He says]: “Seek Me. I’m going to hide my face from you, but right now I’m doing the most important work in you that I could ever do. I’m going to teach you what it means to diligently seek Me period. And I’m going to give you a heart of worship that says I am worthy of worship period. Not for the things I do but for who I am. So are you going to turn to the world? Are you going to turn away? Or are you going to keep pressing in? Because right now if you trust me I’m doing the most important thing in you that I could do. I’m working in you the thing that pleases me. And what pleases me is faith that leads to worship.” So God is not turned away from us though He hides His face. He’s doing the most important thing He could do in us. He’s giving us the level of faith and type of worship that makes Him smile! What does this have to do with loneliness you may be wondering? What it has to do with loneliness is that sometimes its not the will of God for you to run from your loneliness. Sometimes its not the will of God for you to fill it up with the world or with other people. Sometimes the will of God for your life is to walk in it. Don’t run from it, walk in it. Why? Because seeing it as something given by God we then can understand that in that moment even though we may not feel it, He is working IN us FAITH!

Its not going to always feel good to assume an attitude of worship. Because the thing about dying to self is that sometimes it feels like death.

Worship is not my way of controlling God and changing Him. Worship is my means by which I submit to God’s control and He changes me!”

~Paul Matthies in the 3rd part of his Only The Lonely series at The Village Church

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

God intends to give us what we need, not what we think we want. Once more we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment of too much love, not too little.” ~C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain

“For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
and He is to be held in awe above all gods.
For all the gods of the people are idols,
But the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
Strength and joy are in his place.

Ascribe to the LORD, O clans of the peoples,
Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength!
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
Bring an offering and come before him!
Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness,
Tremble before him, all the earth;
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice,
And let them say among the nations, “The LORD reigns!”
Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
Let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy
Before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth.
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
For his steadfast love endures forever!”

~1 Chronicles 16: 25-34

 

Honesty tonight February 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 10:16 am
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My eyes are burning
and threatening tears
Are You there?
Do You care?
I sigh as I hear nothing
Knowing I have probably
pushed Him so far out
to the limits
of my self-built
“safety zone”
“He isn’t safe,
but He’s good.”

I fear the silence
Not wanting to be honest with myself
why I do
I fear I won’t hear You
I fear I’m alone
So I fill every orifice
with clutter
and noise
to drone out my fears

Til I’m deaf

The last thing I want to be

Deaf to You

And my heart breaks.

~Me

 

::Untitled:: December 21, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 9:55 am

I hate nights like this where I just feel so… indescribable.

Or maybe its that I know exactly why I’m feeling this way and I hate it… I hate that these things still bother me, still hurt me so deeply…

Why do I have to be wounded? Why won’t they go away? Why don’t people who I love just let me love them rather than attacking me or pushing me away…?

Why does this have to hurt so much…?

Pain, please go away… please… please go away…

I hate that you and you and you and you and you hurt me. I hate that the hurts won’t completely go away. I hate that I feel damaged. I hate that my wounds could one day wound others like yours’ have wounded me. I hate that I care about you because it does it bring me pain. I hate that I can’t let go of those I love. I always love them and it hurts. I hate that I feel so confused the majority of the time. I hate that I feel lost. I hate that my feelings control me at times like this. I hate that I can’t stop them. I hate that I don’t know why you did that to me. I hate that people tell me I shouldn’t ask. I hate that I want to ask why. I hate that you don’t care enough about me to get over your own crap so that it doesn’t hurt me, when I constantly try to get over mine so it doesn’t hurt you. I hate that I yearn for someone to love and live my life with. I hate that I’m scared I won’t know how to receive that love once it finds me. I hate that I don’t always trust God. I want to trust Him so much more. I hate when He doesn’t answer my prayers clearly and I especially hate it when the prayers involve other people’s hearts and I’m lost with what to do. I hate being afraid. And sometimes I hate caring for people as much as I do… and right now, I hate needing to say all of this…

 

Why I love all types of art November 16, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 3:17 am

“(Art)… rescues us from our self chosen triviality, to which we are so prone. It is like a deep organ note that makes my hair stir and a shiver run through me. I ‘pull back’ from life, like a camera taking a long shot with a wide angle lens. I quite simply become aware of more reality than before.” -Colin Wilson


 

A poem I just wrote concerning my thoughts about God lately… October 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 6:35 am

You’re so strange
the moves You make
the ways You save
Always unconventional

You’re so intriguing
the way You’re just You
no apologies
yet Your true essence is love

You never stop
You never sleep
Thats so unique
My human brain cannot comprehend it

I often feel confused
by Your moves
but checkmate,
their always perfect

Hindsight is 20/20
so they say
and so I see
with You and me

©Mandy

 

The reason why September 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 6:48 am

I think about how it might have been
We’d spend our days travelin’
It’s not that I don’t understand you
It’s not that I don’t want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I’ve got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I’m up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I’m gone, and you’re still there
I’m gone, and you’re still there
I’m gone, and you’re still there

I’ll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or wherever I find my place
I’ll track you on the radios, and
I’ll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I come to you
It’s not the same

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I’m gone, and you’re still there
I’m gone, and you’re still there
I’m gone, and you’re still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you’re looking for
The way I might’ve changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I know the reason why

 

Hello World! July 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stateofwonderment @ 7:10 am

Soo… I decided to start a blog. :) Hello everyone! Please feel free to comment on any of my blogs!